OF WHAT is already written shall happen and if it’s God will what we desire will happen. There are some things that, despite how hard we try to make them work, they will never happen. All the efforts we put in are futile if God does not want them to happen. ‘Insha’Allah’ is a word used mainly by Muslims and some Christians like Coptic and orthodox. It means “if its God’s will” or “God willing”. This word is said when one is referring to future events and plans. It acknowledges submission to God by stating that things can only occur if God pleases. The Quran teaches Muslims never to say they will do anything without adding the word “Insha’Allah” (surat Al Kahf 18; 24)
If it’s written, then it shall happen and no mortal can change it, so why so much worry? I suppose despite the known and accepted, there remains but one fact about destiny. All people who seem to have nothing good in them, who wish no good on others, have a chance to alter their destiny. They can decide as they are always given second chances whether they want to make something out of that chance or simply follow life wherever it is taking them. By the time they realises that life is a big monster eating everything in its path, it’s too late for them. Hard as it may be to believe, there are people in this world who want to see no happiness and peace. There are people who destroy anything that is good; people who desire nothing beautiful, but find pleasure in seeing others miserable. There are people who are so selfish and evil that when they see something or someone good, they want to destroy them and make them miserable; people who praise themselves for being the best seducers, liars, murderers and betrayers. Then there also those who want the best for themselves only. When they see someone in a nice car, they kill the owner just to have it. When they see a happy couple they come in between to have the man or woman despite the fact that he or she is taken. There are women who would do anything evil before the earth to have a married man leave his wife for them. There are men who kill others to have their wives. All of these people are given many chances to re-direct their destinies but greed stops them and they end up following life to where it takes them.
What is it about life that makes one keep guessing and running anyway? We may not know that but this I tell you; don’t let life play puzzles on you dear mortal. Our lives are governed by a supreme power that we can not overturn. Before we are born, perhaps even conceived, our life plans are already laid out for us to walk. But can one change the course of their destiny? We keep telling other people to change, change for the better. Do we, as individuals, have that power over our lives? By changing, does it mean we have changed the course of our destiny or we are, in-fact, following our destiny? It is said that God knows us so much that he knows what we want from him before we can even ask him. Destiny cannot be unwritten. As we are born, our end is already known, but throughout life, we turn away from our paths and do what we please. Unknowingly, we have our destiny before us. We always know the things we ought to do but avoid dealing with them. We know what is expected of us although for many years, one may try to ignore reality. Destiny is always before us and we can never change it. Our efforts to re-write our destinies only delay or postpone it. At the end, we will do what is expected of us by the universe. We cannot deny ourselves who we really are. When people tell us to change or grow up, they are actually telling us to act upon our destiny. To be what we were meant to be.
There are some battles we fight for no reason; battles we can never win no matter how hard we put in our energy. After many years, we come to realise what a waste of time and emotions it all was. That is where regret sets in. But the truth is never hidden from us. We always know when we are fighting wrong battles, or at least we get that feeling that warns us, although we seldom listen to it. I have seen many people fight long, hard, tiring and draining battles only to realise after many years what a waste it was. But then it is normally too late and picking up the pieces of their lives is not easy. If it was not written from the beginning then it can never work. Unless God himself re-writes your destiny, then it is pointless to keep on fighting and hoping that that woman will be yours. To keep on dreaming about her will only drain your emotions. It is pointless, dear friend, to keep on waiting that someday, Mr Jackson will love you when that is not what God planned for you. So many of us are waiting and hoping that our destinies will change, but for another million years it is not about to. At least not because of our own doing. Only if it is God’s wish can our destinies change.
Many women have become enemies of their own destinies. Many young Basotho women have been taught that marriage is the core of dreams and all happiness. Many young girls grow up waiting for marriage, hoping that it will fulfill their emptiness. But when all that doesn’t happen, all comes crashing down. Many married couples spend many miserable years hoping for a change and not willing to leave because of the hold culture has on them.
In the Sesotho culture, there is no divorce, so many people spend years in something that was not meant for them and that could never work out. Even after divorce, the marriage still exists to the elders. I have noticed how bitter second wives are because they will always come second. No matter how much their husbands love them, they will remain second best.
When a man marries in Sesotho, the celebrations and preparations make a permanent mark. When he divorces, no one will listen to him. It’s true the courts will cancel the marriage but it will never die.
Perhaps we, as women, should pardon the bitterness of second wives. We should not throw back what they toss at us because they will forever remain bitter. This is to say here, destiny is not decided by the Sesotho culture or any culture.
Destiny remains the end of our journey as humans and whether we like it or not, whether we try to hide or run off course, we will reach our destiny for it is by God’s will that it happens. It has been written and shall be carried out as he desires!
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