Author goes personal in new book
BUDDING writer, Carol Motolo, was on the verge of giving up on life after spiraling into a depression that was induced by physical and emotional abuse, poverty and giving birth to a premature baby.
However, she found renewed strength in her Christian faith and her recent book– titled Living in Faith –is indeed evidence that faith is the substance of things hoped for and that dreams do come true.
Carol left her Tsikoane home in the Leribe district in 2007 for South Africa with just a suitcase in search of a better life in Johannesburg – the fabled city of gold that never sleeps.
But she soon found out that not all that glitters is actually gold. It was in fact a dog-eat-dog world which left her dreams of marriage tattered before she finally found love with her current partner.
“I left home for Johannesburg 10 years ago, the city of gold which I prefer to call the city of hustle where one’s dreams are either realised or shattered,” Carol recently told Xpress People in an interview from Bloemfontein, South Africa.
“My dreams of becoming a model and eventually own a fashion magazine compelled me to seek greener pastures. I am a dreamer, a risk taker and I felt I needed to be out of my comfort zone for me to achieve my dreams and desires but then jobs were scarce and plans had to change.
“Johannesburg was nothing like I had imagined. Life was very fast and different from home. It was so fascinating, intriguing yet very scary, one needed to be a fast learner. I started off on the wrong foot, got mixed up with the wrong crowd, trusted wrong people and soon, life showed me flames, left me penniless with no one to rely on.
“All I had were my dreams and pride and I was not ready to give up and return home to be a laughing stock. My last hope was my faith in God and I was determined to prove that I could succeed.”
She got a job as a waiter by day and cleaner by evening but these paid very little and she could barely get by.
She soon found a man who she wrongly believed would be the answer to all her problems, only for him to dump her with a newborn and no money.
“My first son was born into an abusive relationship in 2013 so I had to part ways with his father for our own safety.
“All I had was R300 and the baby needed milk as well as napkins. He kept crying as if he knew what was going on. I consoled him and spoke to him as if he understood what I said, telling him things would be better. I prayed over the money, bought a few nappies, the smallest tin of milk and seeded the rest of it in a church.
“I remained with nothing but I had faith things would work out. I applied for many jobs and got one to write for a certain blog for R600 per article. I started writing for blogs and gradually life got better.”
She saved money, enrolled her son in daycare facility so she could take on more jobs, cleaning houses.
“I met the father of my second born in church while the first son was still a few months old but then we soon lost contact as I sold my cellphone to cover living expenses. In 2015 he made contact via social media and made arrangements for us to meet and the rest became history, we are happily together now.”
The concept for her latest book began in a hospital room last year, looking at her premature son’s weak body. She poured out her pain to paper while constantly praying a miracle.
“I felt tested again last year when my son was born premature and he was placed in a tube. I felt empty and weak but somehow I had little faith in me. That day I prayed and asked God to show me the way and promised to serve Him if my boy survived.
“I read my bible and fasted. Doctors would tell me to give up but I would tell them my son would be a testimony and I continued to pray for him.
“I began documenting my emotions and I decided to write a book so that I could easily share with other people to encourage and motivate them whenever the going gets tough.”
She says it is time “to explode myths and retire those old stories”.
“It is time to step up, stop making excuses and trust God and live the life we’ve always dreamt about. I am a living proof and I am not exceptional, I am just like you.
“I spent years battling depression, abuse, making wrong decisions and had a preference for chaos and disaster simply because I didn’t have faith in God. I did not have any tools to help me deal with my own emotions. If you have been there, you know how it feels, like you are being chewed up inside.”
She says that teaching women how to fall in love with God, with themselves, their children and partners had become her passion and mission.
“My life gets better every day because I walk my talk. Nothing is perfect but every time I practice living in faith and trusting God, I become happier. I feel more thankful and I radiate that love out to others,” she said.